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Antique Smut
When taking tea at Grannie’s you might just be tempted to check out her amazing cache of prescription drugs. And when you do, don’t be surprised if you happen to come upon this blast from the past...
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Tickle Me Stupid.
There comes a time when one encounters an adult toy so deficient, so moronic, so pants-crappingly idiotic that it creates a black hole of stupidity that common sense can’t even escape. Tickling Bra,...
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The Housewife’s Friend
The lady of the house spends her days ironing, mending, cooking, cleaning and buffing her well-behaved children to a glossy shine. No idle hands for this happy homemaker! A spotless home, a homecooked...
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Once you go black you can go back (to the ER.)
Rascal™ Toys Ass Thumper This lower intestine massager comes to us from Rascal, Topco’s gay toy division. Due to it’s 10″ size it will never be my bottom bitch but it does have a few decent features. I...
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The Power Pleaser Vibe: A descent into madness
To thank me for my continued patronage a well-known novelty company informed me that I would receive a free Doc Johnson Gourmet Power Pleaser. With a name like “Power Pleaser” I fully intended to...
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Sex Toys That Suck Golden Douche Award
Put your feet in the stirrups and gently spread your knees apart, folks. It’s time for the golden Douche Awards! This exciting new feature awards adult products that that try too hard and yet still...
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I Sing the Body Electric
To make a woman as jolly a wife as she was a maid by dispeling bad humors and re-establishing the health of the delicate womanly organs.
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